How Do You Let Brook Outdo You?
The definitive ranking of the Strawhats post-timeskip, worst to best
Today’s intro is basically letting you know where my head (and hands) (and Windows programs) is at: knee-deep into the novel revision. I’m almost done but have to re-outline it, basically thinking of a new ending and weaving in a crucial motivation? So besides editing here and there and writing some new things, it’s going great. The usual, anyway. I’ll talk about it at some point, once it’s done, obviously.
What this means for you is that since this weekend I’m going to take a break, three posts will be coming up. This is the first one. It is one of two posts relating to One Piece. There’s a tag if you’re on your laptop, and also an index because I noticed the mobile version won’t let you access it.
Normally, I would say: this is a series of posts that feed off one another. Not this one. Today is a silly goofy post. It is a ranking of the Strawhats post-timeskip. What will I be ranking them by? Appearance (I am shallow) and abilities. Not included is Jinbe, who up until now has not been part of the Strawhats and hasn’t changed appearance-wise at all pre- and post-timeskip. The uncle’s for the next post.
I mean, what else do you want me to do? Beat the dead horse that is the Fishman Island Arc? I get bored just imagining what I could possibly say. There is something worth talking about there, which is the second post, but even on a rewatch (and I’m watching One Pace, mind you) this is just an incredibly poor arc with set-ups that don’t build up well, payoffs that aren’t properly set-up, a situation that I really don’t care about, and a story where the Strawhats are just… but that’s for later. tl;dr: It’s the worst One Piece arc. I’d take three Baratie arcs back to back over this one. Speaking of… let’s get this ranking started.
9. Sanji
I will avoid saying anything about Sanji until I get to talk about the retcon. My subconscious has been cooking since. Let’s just say that when your entire personality post-timeskip has become transphobia and a fetishistic purview of women to the degree where you’re almost dying from looking at a “real woman” or whatever, you should stay dead. His whole timeskip is “trauma” from “transgender women” and then I’m expected to care about this guy. No. Oda giving him an out by Sanji petrified at the sight of women is weak. He recovers for some nonsense reason too. Subject him to the bigotry laws or kill him off!
And then there are his abilities. He gained the Moonwalk, which is something CP9 did in Water 7 arc. He can also burn his legs faster. We’re told a couple times he learned a lot from running away from the Newkama, but in practice it’s just level ups we’ve already seen. The character is like… forget flattening, he’s butchered, atomized. As if that wasn’t enough, the goatee he sports is darkhaired, which pisses me off irrationally. So the french fries yellow is a choice he makes every day when he wakes up. Or he dyes his eyebrows brown. For what? Just stay dead!
As I’m typing this, as he is truly bottom, you have to stop and wonder how a character who has done some incredibly intelligent work in early arcs (even Water 7!), the strategist compared to Zoro and Luffy, has been reduced to his gag to such a degree that the literal gag character outdoes him now. How do you let Brook outdo you? By not being transphobic? The bar is in hell.
8. Franky
Franky should’ve just stayed on Water 7. This has nothing to do with what I think of his role from a writerly perspective as detailed previously, but his verbal flourishes (“Ow!”, “Franky!”, “Suuuuperrr!!”) never seem to find their footing outside that island. They register more as tics: all involuntary, and I don’t think that’s on purpose, now is it? You see where it’s gone with Franky: a territory of awkward that’s just pitiful. His lowkey homosexuality never took off past Water 7 either, and much like Sanji, he’s been reduced to his gag, which is sort of his “function” also. Does he tend to the ship still? Sure. Caring for a ship is not interesting in any way, though.
What Franky didn’t have pre-timeskip – plot relevance – he made up with his appearance. He looked fun and extremely stylish, like Johnny Bravo on acid. Franky post-timeskip is just a robot. That buzzcut is a poor choice. There’s a moment during a fight where he brings back his gelled up hair, sitting on a motorbike, and you get a sense of a character that could’ve been, and then it’s just gone. The other characters/“boys” (Chopper, Luffy, Usopp) gas him up a lot about how cool a cyborg he is, but I’m with Robin here – watching him with a stone face as he does things that are just not entertaining or funny. This is not even a minority opinion – whenever my brother and I look out for One Piece merch, Usopp, Sanji, and Franky are always in stock, as opposed to the more readily sold-out rest of the cast.
7. Robin
I won’t explain this one to you. You need to see it. Look how they massacred my girl.
You need a reminder of how she used to look? Here we go:
The sunglasses are cool. That’s it. Now that we have this out of the way: had Oda not fumbled this badly with her appearance, she would’ve easily been in the upper half of this ranking – her powers have always been severely underutilized for how incredibly fun and creative they are, and her power-ups sets that right, be it with giant legs that kick around on the ground or doubling her upper body. Anytime Robin came on during that tedious arena fight, I had a blast. Her new applications is basically what One Piece used to be a long time ago.
6. Chopper
Chopper is only above Robin because Robin’s appearance has been massacred while Chopper’s adapted to the overall bubblier look post-timeskip, but rest assured, Oda turning a proper reindeer to a mascot has not gone unnoticed. In fact, I am very annoyed. I can not stand characters that look cute with the express purpose of selling a shit ton of merch related to this character based on their “adorable” appearance. (This is also why I dislike Mokona of Clamp fame and a very big reason I hate Minions) But really… he’s just not giving reindeer anymore.
Like with Robin, Chopper has creative and fun applications of his powers, although in his case, pre-timeskip, Oda has given it such a tremendous dramatic weight and a very satisfying limitation of three per rumble ball. Post-timeskip, he can switch to more forms (the Kung-Fu one is so fun) and even to the monster form he previously couldn’t control – showing that as early as Fishman Island arc is a choice that should’ve been given a stronger dramatic weight, or be done later. It’s a shame the viewer/reader is robbed off a catharsis. I really didn’t like that arena fight in general, and this was a big reason as to why, as well as a general proof why the arc didn’t work. Though Zoro telling Chopper he’s become stronger with a slight smile on his face was wonderful.
5. Luffy
The solid middle. He’s got the skin bleach like the rest, he’s got the rounder look, he’s got an X-formed scar like his body is a map and his entire chest the treasure to be found, but isn’t offensively worse. Since he’s become more ripped, walking out into the world with the scar for everyone to see is a bold, ambitioned choice more for its thematical weight than actual fangirling weight. He’s solidly cute now, whereas pre-timeskip he had some handsome moments. Aging in reverse, woobified, you name it, he is it. I’m not annoyed, though.
As for his abilities, yes, I think those have gotten worse. Emperor Haki a.k.a knocking out the irrelevant losers in one go is one thing – entertaining in a meta way, at least – but you can slowly see Luffy turn to a Goku-type of character who will just grit his teeth and shout while punching people all the time. It’s the equivalent of spamming the A button in a fighting game. Where’s the combos? His power-ups are… essentially having rid himself of any drawback Gear Second and Third had, plus Haki (predicting someone else’s moves – moving like Neo of Matrix fame – and coating his body so that it becomes really hard, aka Coating Haki) and it is not interesting, visually or otherwise, which saddens me because early One Piece arcs meant lots of creative and fun applications of the Gum-Gum Fruit. Now it’s just, “Gomu Gomu no… Big Steel Punch!” I’m not gagging.
4. Zoro
It’s actually the spinal erectors that are strengthened, giving the appearance of a widening neck. This is Zoro in a nutshell - a character always occupied with working out. You can’t ruin him in any kind of way (I know what I said about this post being its own island, but it just fits so well here.) His hair has gone from spinach to salad, got a scar in his eye for unknown and irrelevant reasons, and he still looks good. This also extends to his abilities. There is nothing new. He’s still doing three-sword style moves, they still have some food wordplay in their names, and he kicks ass. I like that he’s filled even more with bloodlust now. I also like that he didn’t promise Shirahoshi anything when the rest of the crew did, clearly Oda knows some things about the character still. If it ain’t broke… and yes, just remaining (mostly) the same means you’re #4 on the list. The timeskip situation has been that dire.
3. Nami
Unlike the others, and unlike her claims to the contrary, Nami’s big improvement hasn’t happened. It comes later, when she gains Zeus in Wholecake Island Arc. That is a stroke of genius. It is. A woman like her needs a servant that she manipulates and treats like shit. My queen <3
I’m pleasantly surprised of how much I like the new design on her. The long hair looks good and gives her a more mature feel, as do the sweeping bangs. I like that she walks around with a bra and jeans now; I find it sort of fits her better than the pre-timeskip outfit choices, if that makes sense. A pragmatism to it, if you will, of picking comfortable denim and still staying true to the urge to wear as little as possible. (I mean, for now, anyway) Of course, straightaway we were also told about how much her boobs have grown, but we have to remember Oda also wrote Brook of “Can I see your panties?” fame into the One Piece universe.
2. Usopp
Usopp has by far the best post-timeskip design. It’s not even up for debate. The wimp looks hot. That outfit? Drip. That orange – a color that is vital, energetic, strong – fits him perfectly. The only problem we have is that the narrative tries to keep telling us that he’s become reliable, but since we need somebody to be properly afraid now because otherwise there are just no stakes anymore, not even telegraphed, it’s just not true. I feel like that is a thing that, if you were to remove it from One Piece, it would cease to be fundamentally One Piece: Usopp telling you how scared he is, Usopp telling Luffy he’s doing something reckless. He’s the guy that thinks normal. Even the way he will sometimes slip and tell us he’s into women – he’s a normal guy cast in a wildly outrageous situation, over and over. Only now he’s also hot. It’s a fundamental disconnect. It’s also why I believe he’s unpopular. He hasn’t developed as a character in any meaningful way even though his looks telegraph us that he should.
His powers give me pause, too. Usopp isn’t a character that needed a power-up. Right? His problems have always revolved around his character, not about his supposed weakness. There’s been scenes in which Usopp has showcased his brilliant ability as a sharpshooter, and this is excluding various moments in which he will be a trickster, fooling people with technically weak moves that nevertheless throws them off, showcasing his intelligence in dire situations. And then he’s been thrown into an island where there’s danger at every turn, and he adapted, and got himself a plant theme… and it’s like, sure, they are creative and cool… but he… didn’t need that? That’s my problem with Usopp post-timeskip. Everything he got, he didn’t need. Everything he needed, he didn’t get. That character is a protagonist in another story, but forced to play gag man at every turn. He will tell the viewer he’s a big hero. The tragedy is that it’s true, and the joke is that he’s in the one story where he’s not.
But damn if that design isn’t so good.
1. Brook
Brook would have never been a protagonist anywhere ever. Oda gave him an emotional and poignant flashback that ties to critical themes of One Piece – bonds – that casts him as protagonist, but it is unconvincing on the sheer fact that whenever Brook talks, it is in a joke, or it is a perverted comment on wanting to see panties. Are the jokes funny? Yes, because they’re very bad. Does it make him a protagonist? No. He’s a gag character with some serious moments and some depth.
And this gag character, Oda likes quite a bit. How can I tell? Out of all the characters, Brook got away unscathed by the new look. That skeleton is still a skeleton. That’s number one. Number two, he became a rock star, and spent two years on a world tour, and Oda tried to tell us it was an earnest issue on whether Brook will rejoin the Pirates or not (to Brook and to us, it never was). Number three… he got the most power-ups. Leaving his body? Being able to create hallucinations based on playing music? Icing people with your sword? He has already been a clearly capable swordsman, not better than Zoro or anything, but now he’s also cool in the very literal sense and also just in an awe sense. He speaks in a low tone and delivers. Every moment of him in this arc, it’s either the gags, or it’s serious stuff on loyalty and ideals, or… it’s being badass. The frost wafting over the chameleon character – just thinking about it again gives me chills, easily the best part of the arc. His whiny side has been kept down. He works brilliantly as a crew member where he did not as the protagonist of Thriller Bark. Fact of the matter is that in this arc, it was only Brook that worked every single time. Not once did he annoy me. And that character annoyed me every time prior that point.
How do you let Brook outdo you?